Leader~sHHHip (IA)

Still on tweaking the dictation of Leadership perhaps we could get some fundamentals of leadership from this theme. The Leader~sHHHip series aims to consider the ‘trinity’ of Leadership – its heart, hand and head.

With the heart yet being scoped out, we should emphasize that the motive behind a leadership act is very crucial. A wrong motive cannot make right an action. Leadership should never be stumbled upon. It is deliberate. Of course, providence might have conferred upon you the responsibility to take the lead at certain instances. However, rejecting the privileges of deliberately growing your understanding of leadership and advancing your influence is sheer absurdity. Let’s touch some more attributes on the heart of Leadership.

Willpower

It’s really saddening that in Africa today, many leaders or wielders of power have weak willpower. They say and don’t act! Why? The drive to propel the desired change wasn’t as intense as it should be in the first place. No one needs to be told any further, leadership is becoming confrontational. Political leadership most especially! It is fiercest at this era ~ a battleground of influence indeed. It’s not a fun day for leaders who want to play it safe. The recent combats between Israel and Palestine have won my admiration for the Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. He’s an unapologetically brave leader of our time. Aside his enlistment in the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) and having being involved in many military training and operations  in the 60’s and 70’s coupled with managing an Anti-Terrorism NGO in the 70’s, Netanyahu seems to understand the language of the season. Hence, he could unequivocally threatened the Palestinian’s HAMAS terrorist group that “for every missile you shoot at Israel, we’ll return with SEVEN.” In front of the cable screen this fateful day, a sensational thrill flooded my system. He didn’t necessary frown giving that charge but you’d sense that he meant every letter of those statements. In 2012, Forbes Magazine’s list of The World’s Most Powerful People recorded him as the 23^rd on the list. The Jerusalem Post had him as the “Most Influential Jews in the World” for 2010 and 2012. Undoubtedly, the If-I-Perish-I-perish kinds of leaders are needed in this present dispensation. The news flash is that they eventually do not perish.

Identity and Security

Insecurity limits the growth of any organisation as potential leaders under an insecure leader become incapacitated and in no time, they bow out. Well, if Robert Green states #7 of his The 48 Laws of Power as “get others to do the work, but ALWAYS take the credit.” Methinks an observance of this kind of principle would only breed a bunch of insecure leaders. Well, that’s a subject of power and it’s quite tactical in a leadership context. I once quipped: “Is it leadership with(out) power OR power with(out) leadership?” Of course, being in a position of authority confers a sizable amount of power on you with respect to the system being considered in this instance. However, leadership is not all about title but service. A leader must be secured enough to see his subordinates, successors and co-leaders do exploits. And that takes a leader with a proper understanding of his/her identity. Leaders who know wherein lie their passions, pains, and dreams. Leaders who can decipher that push required to move to the next phase of their leadership. Leaders well informed of the gifts in their possession. Leaders who can draw patterns from the opportunities on their paths. Societies and organisations crave for leaders of such makeup.

 

Values & Priorities

A leader will never outgrow the relevance of prioritizing. Settling our utmost priorities within puts our minds at rest and engenders focused actions. A tweet from @WhiteHouse read thus: “As Commander in Chief, my highest priority is the security of the American people.” – President Barack Obama in his weekly address. No intentions whatsoever to hype non-African political leaders as every leadership has its own loopholes, the morals notwithstanding is that, it liberates when a leader clearly spells out his priority regardless the degree of his/her leadership. The other stance is that priorities are predicated on values. Values, though personal but never private, outlive goals, build character, direct decisions and improve our lifestyle. A leader’s values ultimately determine his VALUE! 

Let’s guide, guard and guage our heart of and for leadership for that’s where life in our.
leadership starts. Raise the edge always! Take the LEAD!

Femi TIAMIYU

#LEAD360

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Leader~sHHHip (I)

Perhaps we would get some very essential components in generic leadership if we try to respell as Leader~sHHHip. This series would clearly pinpoint the trinity of Leadership: Heart, Hand and Head of a Leader. I believe they form the real essence of leadership and a leader must consciously remind himself of this bedrock. If truly we want to operate an enterprise that would outlive us, then we have to model a leadership centred on values and quality. Simply, a leadership born of the heart, showcasing the craftsmanship of the hand, and apparently reflecting the brilliancy of the head. 

        *The HEART of Leadership

True leadership, I mean TRUE Leadership is a thing of the heart. I am yet to see a leader whose heart is NOT in a ‘cause’ and attain prominence. Adolf Hitler gave himself to a ‘cause’: “exterminate as many Jews as I can, rule the world.” Osama Bin Laden lived and died for a ‘cause’…an unjust cause though. Regrettably, some ‘leaders’ or wielders of power are just as terrible as these two guys are. Their cause has the same end as that of Osama and Hitler. Why? The people will always perish or cast off restraints {destruction} when there is no ‘vision’. Vision is a compelling picture of a desirable or preferred or better future. Real Vision has the people as the focus of its mandate. It betters lives. It improves standard of living. It governs actions and stimulates growth at all levels within the organisation. A vision of this type is born out of a sincere heart. Your heart is the essence of your leadership, your life, your identity. Let’s touch three basic attributes on the heart of leadership. 

      

         *Integrity

Bernard Madoff’s 150-year Imprisonment Sentencing in 2009 for the highest Ponzi scheme ever recorded in history is both funny and subliminal to me anytime I ponder over it. Madoff didn’t only swindle his many devastated victims of over $65 billion fraud, he left a ‘legacy of shame’ to his family and children. He deceived his wife who had been married to him for over 50 years. That’s pathetic! Living a life of dishonour has huge and demeaning consequences. A leader’s heart is the connecting point of his thoughts, words and actions ~ the very essence of integrity. Someone said, “The lack of integrity is like a fart, you might not see it but you would definitely perceive it.” Integrity is the core ingredient for character ~ what you are when no one is watching, who you are when the light is off or when the curtains are drawn. It does not matter how many times you have slid in this aspect, listen to the rhythm of our conscience’s beat and get back on track. Oh how our society would celebrate leaders who prioritize character over charisma, convictions over giftedness, principles over power, morality over intellect! We will forever carve plaques on the linings of our heart for visionary leaders who lead with values and spiritual leaders with conscience.

  

             *Sacrifice

Sacrifice is one component of leadership that can never be obliterated from a leadership handbook. It’s saddening however, that some leaders have done just that, perhaps in their own leadership manual. Sacrifice is a thing of the heart. The heart does pump sacrifice too. Sacrifice originally means the offering of something (especially a life) to a deity as an act of propitiation or homage. It is an intentional giving away of that ‘commodity’ so precious to you. It should cost you! Sorry, it must cost you if we are to term it SACRIFICE. No ‘pampering’: “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.”~ US President Harry S. Truman. Leadership is service and service comes with sacrifice. It would cost you time, energy, money, interest/comfort, etc. Leadership is an issue of commitment not convenience. It is dying to live. Sacrifice sometimes involves blood spillage instead of oil bunkering; burial in lieu of gallivanting. A grain of wheat can never produce multiple lives except it is buried in the ground. It is a death, burial and the life after burial process. There is a price to pay to rebuild any system, rework a procedure/pattern, organise a life-transforming function, potentials-enhancing workshop, expand the tentacles of your operations or grow a brand. There is a measurable cost and we must pay the price to get the desired result. One of the men I admire in the Bible is Nehemiah. For 12 years, this serving governor refused to collect nor use the food allowance provided for him ‘cos taxing the people at the time is like crushing them under a hard yoke. He remained focus at rebuilding the fallen walls of Jerusalem and yet fed more than 150 people daily. That’s sacrifice!

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             *Compassion

There should never be a time in your leadership when you can no longer feel the sincere needs of your people. Come to think of it, every authentic vision has the people as its centrality. Granted, there are up and down times in every journey such that the leader sometimes gets caught in the trap of losing grip of the main theme while pursuing his vision at pressuring moments and at other times, distractions set in at victory phases – the peak periods. Whichever season your leadership experiences, compassion remains a concurrent exercise. Author of The Politics of Humanity, John Holmes says: “there is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” That’s leadership simply defined.

These are just few reminders of the fundamentals of leadership. They are rudiments we can never outlive. The tough can keep going when the going gets tough because he’s living from a force within ever greater than the seemingly pressures without. As your responsibility ascends, it would be required of you to give up more of your rights. Please oblige! Let integrity guide your affairs. More importantly, let LOVE be the motivation for your leadership.

Raise the edge always! Take the LEAD!

Femi TIAMIYU

#LEAD360

Managing Resentment

Having the preconception that "not everyone likes you" is a widely accepted notion. However, it's a different ball game when you meet - eyeball to eyeball - one of those people who don't like you. It is much more interesting when the person attesting to this fact, in words, is right in front of you. I once had this experience while seeking the commitment of a lady in an organisation I headed. I'd invited her to my office though she was surprise at the invitation in the first place 'cos she never thought I could sight her in the auditorium. She honoured the invite and my conversation with her started with getting to know her better. She cooperated, telling me about herself and what she was up to at the moment. She was learning makeup asides her academics. She eventually taught me, in words though, the different types of makeups and their applications. I'd found a common ground to relate with her since one of my sisters, Lara Tiamiyu, CEO La'Royal Studios, is into Photography & Makeup and she does a great job at them. I showed this lady some of Lara’s pictures and jobs on my device.  

At a point in the 'sharing', she began to wonder why exactly I'd invited her to my office since she knew it can't all start & end on just discussing makeups. It was at that point I heard one of the shocking statement ever said to me. "Do you know I don't like you"? Said the young lady with a sense of gravity in her voice and mien. *whew!* My eyeballs budged out though I quickly adjusted them, consoling myself with a pretty 'false' smile, not a façade though. The most shocking was that her dad knew about the event that predicated the dislike she'd towards me {a guy the dad knows not} and despite the degree of her dad's plea to her, on my behalf though unknowingly to me, she yet resented me. This was an event I couldn't have even known I offended someone - THREE-SIX-FIVE DAYS before this appointment in my office. *Huh?!* Not to bore you with the long story, I bailed myself out of the situation, explained what I felt she didn't know or misinterpreted about the situation, apologised in arrears and like every good story would end, we became good friends. Her commitment heightened partly and she was moderately accountable to me.

Conflicts and confrontations in leadership are not only normal, they should be anticipated from time to time. People, your head(s) and team members inclusive, would sometimes misconstrue or/and [therefore] disapprove your arguments or position on an issue. Someone somewhere you know or don't know just doesn't like how you talk or walk or look or how you handle/manage your affairs. Someone might even dislike the intent of this piece right now *smiling*. All of these are just pointers to a reality: It's a world filled with breeds with different perspectives, culture, ideology & lifestyle. Sincerely, some of these experiences would hurt you and some might not have dire consequences. Whichever way it turns, you must learn how to manage resentments.

         1.     Have the Right Perspective

     Elizabeth Gilbert said, “As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you.” Resentment is an attack on your heart as a leader. Your heart is the essence of your identity and must be guarded with utmost diligence. Someone said, “resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die”. That’s striking! It’s self-inflicted. Resentment is giving people the control over your emotional being…and ultimately your entire self. Disturbingly, I have always wondered how some people cope with bitterness. Well, the little time I have harboured it, the consequence is a dehydration of my creativity tank and I could tell it won’t be long I would cease to ‘live’. Set yourself free: forgive freely, forgive in advance; discard unrealistic expectations from people; help people not with an exchange mindset ~ real help is offered without expecting anything in return; avoid unhealthy deposits of people’s shortcomings in your ‘court’ {steer clear of gossips and busybodies ~ YOUR LIFE IS A FULL TIME JOB already!}; get along with people, of course, as far as it is possible for you.

     2.     Prioritise People over Task/Goal

     While a leader leads people to achieve a particular goal/task, he must learn to place priority on the people than the task. It can never be over-emphasized: People are your asset. The right people – your greatest asset. Of course, the wrong people too have lessons to teach you: love, focus, discipline, patience etc. To place emphasis on the people you lead or who lead you is to model genuine love. Accept correction with a good heart no matter how sharp the words are hurled at you. When confronting, be clear and direct. Try as much as possible to deal with the issue. Confront in private and seek a healthy settlement. Of course, leaders sometimes confront in public too. Perhaps, several private confrontations prove abortive. That might translate to rebuke. Not all rebukes have devastating effects. Open rebuke is better than secret love and a source of learning and warning for all. The huge debt you owe any man is to LOVE! This is a profound leadership truth that will set you free forever.

     3.     Follow-Up

     Do something extra after possible resolutions. Make commitment to work on the feedback you have received so far. Resentment is not only possible through contact with people, it could be a situation. A student having an ‘F’ in a course might as well be angry with the situation or his lecturer. But frankly, the ‘F’ remains a feedback that needed a further action plan. My Pastor or boss can’t be mad at me or my output and I stay just okay. Something must be wrong with my psyche. It is a feedback and I must see to what he’s saying and fix things quickly. Follow up on your commitments!

If we are truly working together as a team, then stepping on each other is inevitable. Hence, it is a wisdom well directed to create allowances for this. Our uniqueness is embedded in our differences. Resentment is like a cankerworm that eats up the cell of the organisation and subtly robs the organisation of its creativity and productivity. When this happens, the organisation becomes lifeless! Give no room for resentment - rancor, bitterness, or hatred.

Raise the edge always! Take the LEAD!

Femi TIAMIYU

#LEAD360